HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS STUFF?

How do we get our kids to understand the who, why and how of the societal issues we want to focus on? I equate it to talking to your kids about sex. You give them just enough information you think they can handle at their age. There are definitely issues kids are not going to be able to understand at certain ages. A twelve-year-old won't to be able to relate to the rape of a women who leaves the safety of her home in a refugee camp to look for wood for cooking. But, they will understand that women who leave the refugee camps to look for firewood can get hurt by bad people and one way to keep them safe is by donating $6 to purchase a solar stove so she can stay safe in the camp.

I also don't recommend preaching. I use the 'Socratic Method' or as my mother called it the 'Jewish Method'; you answer a question with a question. A great example...I was discussing homelessness with a group of seventh grade girls that were in my afterschool Kids Care Volunteerism Club. Kids Care is an organization that promotes volunteerism in, obviously, kids. The kids design and implement projects both domestic and global. They do it all from start to finish, the adult is only a facilitator.

So, anyway, there I was with the lovely Gigi, Francesca, Georgie, and Christina. I opened with, 'What would you do if you were a single mom with no job, and no place to live.' Someone held her hand up and said, '...well I'd get a job.' I asked, 'Where could you get a job that would allow you to bring your kids to work with you.' Another said, 'Well, first I'd get an apartment and leave my child with someone in the building.' I asked, 'How are you going to get an apartment without a job or money and what crazy person leaves their kid with someone they don't know?' Another said she'd live with family. I queried, 'What if your family threw you out and wouldn't take you back or your family lived far away or was too poor to give you money.' The next suggestion was, they'd get money from the baby's dad. My reply, 'What if you don't know where he lives, or if he flat out refuses to pay.' This incredibly frustrating conversation went back and forth for twenty minutes. Finally, Georgie screamed out, 'OK! What's the right answer?' I calmly said, with a big smile on my face, there is no right answer, that's where you come in.

These girls had no idea about life outside their middle class safety zone. They learned about life on TV. By the end of the class I showed them that life does not have clear cut answers. That homelessness means joblessness and hunger and poverty and fear. The great thing was that they loved the discussion as irksome as it was. The project they came up with was two-fold. Part one was having girls at their school donate gently used dance gear to a professional dance school in Sarajevo that teaches girls affected by the war; Part two, having girls and boys donate used soccer gear and Spanish language bibles for the underprivileged in Honduras via an organization called Soccer for Life. We sent off six HUGE boxes, 3 for each project. They were so proud of what they had done and the response from their peers was extraordinary. We had kids, unrelated to the group, who would automatically check the drop off pails everyday to see how much was collected so far. Four hundred people got involved, and it started with only four twelve-year-old's. Not bad.

Rather drone on to a kid, 'Well, here's the list...the issues are poverty, homelessness, hunger, the elderly, foster kids, the critically ill, literacy, immigration, blah, blah, blah. Explain! For example - WHAT IS POVERTY? It's being poor, so poor you can't afford food, a home, clothes, books, toys. Poverty is the root cause, but not the only cause, of most of the pain out there. Some people are poor because they physically can't work, they're disabled and depend upon money from the government, which isn't really enough to support them. Some people don't have jobs because they don't have an education, or skills, or can't speak the language, or there just are no more jobs in their field. Some people have jobs but they don't pay enough to support the family, so they have to take a second job and sometimes even that isn't enough. When explaining NEVER blame the victim, NEVER put down the victim, NEVER abuse the victim, be compassionate, and always, always tell the truth. OK, the guy on the corner collecting change may be an alcoholic, but do we know what happened in his life that put him in that situation? It is so easy to fall into the trap of 'well these people are unfortunate but they've done it to themselves.' That's crazy! No one chooses this kind of life, I mean would you? If not then how can you assume that that they do?

In my next post I'll go over the actual issues I mentioned above and give you basic explanations and insights that will help you explain, what I guess I'd call 'life' to your kids. Do a good deed today it'll make you feel good. Also, kiss your kids, and tell them you love them.